The "Boogie Shoes" Burger, Fries, and S'Mores Milkshake

There is a window in my kitchen above the sink that overlooks my driveway along with my neighbor's house that is currently vacant and up for sale.  Additionally, I have saved hundreds of my CD's to the hard drive of my playstation, giving me an endless playlist when I so choose.  These two facts must be known, or what follows next will not seem wondrous...(To quote Dickens).

My day happened in phases...

Phase 1:  For my birthday this past week, my mother was kind enough to bake me lemon bars.  When I got up, I found myself so full of energy, I decided to return the pan to her.  I got in my truck and took off - pan on the seat next to me.  Apparently, I was feeling a bit too positive and invincible to notice my lead foot as I cruised happily down Hoover Road (which incidentally is a 30 mph zone).  The police officer that pulled me over noticed this though:

Cop:  "...do you know how fast you were going?"

Grigal:  "....28....29 tops?"

Cop:  "Fifty-two....(notices the pan in the seat)...what's with the pan?"
Grigal:  (Nervously) "....I'm bringing this pan back to my mom....she made me lemon bars and they were good.."

9 hours later, I still have no idea why I told him that last part, but it was strange enough to make him chuckle and he let me off with a warning.


Phase 2:

I have been waiting for a number of items in the mail for a couple weeks now (a couple books, a DVD, my new license, etc.  After getting home from my parents' place, I checked the mailbox to see that not only did something arrive, EVERYTHING showed up at once.  Jackpot!  I opened my license first (Yes, I was excited to get my license) and was flabbergasted when I saw the picture.  I looked bloated, confused, and ready to sneeze.  I have to live with that for years now.  Next, I opened the DVD, but I was a bit too ravenous and the disc shot straight up in the air upon opening.  I tried to catch it on my lap, but it fell between my legs while I was closing them, snapping the DVD in half.  I can't MAKE this stuff up...

Phase 3:  I angrily retired to my bedroom to change immediately after breaking the disc.  I began to change and decided to toss my socks in the hamper in my bathroom.  I walked out of my room in only my skivies just in time to see the little old guy that delivers my Manney's Shopper opening my front door to drop it in. There is absolutely NOTHING you can say in that situation that's even remotely classy...but I tried.

            Grigal:  ".....uhhhh...so....how about this weather?." 

I don't think I'll be getting a Manney's Shopper anymore...

Phase 4:  Now I was not only feeling angry, but I was also feeling embarassed.  I decided the only thing to do was take it out on my drums.  (Such a good stress reliever).  I sat down and went to town.  I got about 4  bars in when the stick in my right hand clipped my cymbal, causing it to spin backward in face.  I now have a tiny welt between my eyes.  I calmly put my sticks down and went upstairs.

The Final Phase:  I started preparing dinner when I realized that I needed music in the background.  I popped on the playlist on my PS3 (see, there's the tie-in) and hit random.  In my head, I wanted loud, aggressive music to let out the tension.....and then "Boogie Shoes" by KC & The Sunshine Band came on.  I reluctantly found myself bobbing my head while I was rinsing my lettuce in the sink.  Before long, I grabbed two mis-sized wooden spoons from the dish rack and was playing along, utilizing my cutting board and faucet.  Suddenly, the breakdown at "1:18" in the song kicked in and I lost it.  I threw down - right there in my kitchen - I...threw...down...and out came every terrible dance move that I have in my arsenal.  As the song was wrapping up, I turned to see a couple that had arrived to view my neighbors house that's up for sale, looking at me through my kitchen window.

So, how was your day?

(If you need to understand my need to dance, listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ux2WXNsqfe8   Pay attention to the breakdown at "1:18".)

"The Boogie-Shoes Burger, Pub Fries, and S'mores Milkshake"

Ingredients:
(Burger - Makes 2):

• 1# - 80/20 Ground Chuck/Beef (You want the fat content for this type of burger)
• Kosher Salt & Pepper (This is all about the flavor of the meat.  If you'd rather follow the current trend of adding egg, breadcrumbs, oregano, basil, etc., then perhaps you should just make a meatloaf.)
• 2 Tbsp. Vegetable Oil
• Sesame Seed Buns

(Pub Fries):

• 4 - Russet Potatoes
• 2 (24 oz.) - Bottles of Peanut Oil  (You can use Vegetable or Canola, but this is the best for this.)
• Kosher Salt

(S'mores Milkshake - Makes 1 Large Shake):

• 1/3 Cup - Whole Milk  (I never use this unless it's in a shake.  You'll appreciate the creaminess.)
• 2 1/2 Tbsp. - Hershey's Chocolate Syrup
• 1 - 14 oz. Tub of your favorite Vanilla Ice Cream
• 8-10 Marshmallows
• 2-3 - Karate Chopped Graham Crackers to sprinkle on top.

How To Make The Whole Meal (I'll post individual recipes later):

• Start with the potatoes for the fries.  You can leave the skin on, peel them completely, or just peel the sides for aesthetic purposes like I do (see pictures below).  Then slice them into discs and slice the discs into fries, about 1/4" thick and 3 inches long.  Place in a bowl of cold water and refrigerate 1-2 hours to get all the starch out.
• (This entire meal happens very quickly, so prepare yourself).  When you're ready to cook, remove your ice cream from the freezer to begin to thaw.  Then, start heating the oil for the fries in a medium pot over medium heat - looking for 325 degrees.  While the oil is warming, form your beef into 3/4" thick patties.  *Cardinal Rule #241:  Make sure you press down in the center of the patty to make an indentation.  This will prevent the burger from bubbling up in the middle while cooking.  Annoying as hell...
• When your patties are formed, remove your fries from the fridge.  Drain the water from the bowl and blot the potatoes dry. (You do NOT want excess water hitting the hot oil).  Begin to add your potatoes to the oil and fry - you're going to have them go 3-4 minutes for the first round.  Simultaneously, heat the vegetable (or canola) oil in your skillet and add your patties,frying 3-4 minutes on first side. While they fry, sprinkle with salt and pepper.   Before turning patties for side 2, remove fries from oil to a dish lined with paper towels to dry.  THEN turn patties over to cook the second side - again sprinkling with the salt and pepper.
• While patties are cooking, turn the heat up on the pub fries oil to get to about 375.  While that is all working, turn your oven broiler on and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.  Give the paper a shot of cooking spray and lay out your marshmallows.  When the patties are just about done (3 more minutes), reduce the heat, top them with American cheese and cover with a pan or pot to melt said cheese. 
• While cheese is melting, add your fries back to the oil (assuming it's reached 375) and fry 4 more minutes until golden brown.  Remove to a platter lined with paper towels (again) and sprinkle IMMEDIATELY with kosher salt.  *Optional step - when your burgers are just finishing up, feel free to add some butter to your buns and toast on the flat top as well*
• Final step before plating everything -- finalize your shake.  Place your shake glasses in your freezer to chill.  Put the cookie sheet of marshmallows in the oven to roast (this takes less than a minute so watch closely) and then place the chocolate syrup and milk in your blender and blend 5-6 seconds to combine.  Remove marshmallows from oven when the tops are golden brown and turn them over.  Place back in oven for 30 more seconds just to melt.  Once you've removed them, add your ice cream to the blender along with MOST of the marshmallows (leaving 1 or 2 to garnish the shake with).   Blend 20 seconds.  Karate chop your graham crackers.  Pour shake into glass and garnish with crackers and mallows.  Serve all together.